Building A Home Within Yourself

In the last month, I have been thinking a lot about whether or not the world is f*cked. I mean, look at it – climate change, COVID, political tensions. Are we blindly walking towards the edge thinking there isn’t a 1000 feet fall at the end of it?

There are days when I think about the world and I feel really down. I wonder if I will get to live my golden years in the peaceful and beautiful environment that I imagine. I wonder if I should quit my job, go live in a van and not care about my finances since things are going to sh*t anyhow. I wonder about having kids and whether it is morally right to bring humans into this world when things are not looking well for the future generations. These thoughts really get to me.

And I have faith, okay. I am not hopeless. But I am also not blind to the state of the world. Unfortunately, we live in times when we should ask ourselves questions like those above. We cannot afford to do what the previous two generations did – live like there is no tomorrow. Whether there is one or not, and the quality of it, hugely depends on the actions of my – our, generation. For a person who is sensitive to these things, this responsibility can feel like a burden sometimes. Am I pulling my weight to make the world better? How much of this is just natural change and how much can we revert? Do I go live in the forest, or do I fight for social change? Most importantly, can I live in the forest and fight for a better world?

Your hidden superpower

The more I think about these things, the more one idea keeps on popping up in my mind:

In a such a volatile world, it is crucial to learn how to be at home within ourselves.

Yes, maybe today you are safe, you have a job, your country is not on fire or underwater, but what about tomorrow, or in one year? It is naive to think that whatever is happening out there will never reach us where we are. But imagine that we learn to be at home within ourselves. Imagine we learn to turn inwards and feel love and peace and connection, no matter what is happening outside of us. Imagine you can sit with yourself, close your eyes and sink deeply into your heart and know that you are going to be okay. What a wonderful feeling that would be, right? And it would make any natural or man-made disaster a little bit easier to deal with.

Being at home within yourself is a powerful feeling. It is calming, refreshing and deeply healing. It feels like a giant hug, like submerging in a river of love. Yet, if that is all it takes – to sit and be with yourself, why is it so difficult? Why does such a natural feeling feel so elusive? Because it is not profitable, and it is conditioned out of us. How much money and political power would be lost in the world if all kids grow up owing their inner world and all adults learn to be comfortable with themselves?

It is important that we start owning this power once again and that we re-learn to look inwards and feel comfort. It is time we learn to build homes within our souls so we stop tearing down the one home we all share – the planet.

Building homes

So how do we make a home within ourselves? I don’t have the formula and I don’t believe there is one. I think we all need to take our own journey inwards and be our own heroes. The road for each of us might be different but I think there are a few stops we should all spend a bit more time at.

Loving our bodies

And I said to my body softly, “I want to be your friend”. It took a long breath and replied, “I have been waiting my whole life for this”.

Nayyirah Waheed

Your body is your home. It is custom-made by you for you. How do you repay it for keeping you alive every day? Do you speak to it kindly or do you insult it? Do you honour every wrinkle and every scar, or do you turn away from them? If you want to build a home within yourself, start with your body. Show it the love and care it deserves. Sit with yourself and look at your limbs, your skin, your toes and fingers and if you don’t like what you see, ask yourself why. That voice in your head that is telling you your body is not beautiful – is it yours, or is it someone else’s? Your body is your temple – honour it so you can also honour what’s inside.

Rejoice in the simple things

If you relax, it comes. If you relax, it is there, If you relax, you start vibrating with it.

Osho

Another thing we can do to start building a home within ourselves is to learn to enjoy the little things. So much of our inability to sit with ourselves comes from constantly wanting to be entertained or to pursue something. What about the simple pleasures like watching the sunset, reading a book or going for a walk? This need to be busy, to be more, do more, earn more, appear more – where is it coming from? It sure isn’t from your soul. Your soul is happy to just be, to just rejoice and observe. To quote my meditation teacher, you have not come here to show how inventive you can be or how much you can achieve. You are here to experience what it is like to be a part of this life. And oh, just imagine how glorious life could be if we learn to be satisfied with the small things!

Connect with yourself

It is your holy work to deeply love, honour and respect the precious self that you are, the soul that only you hold.

Debbie Ford

Who are you under all of this facade you are putting for the world to see? Who are you when it is late in the evening and your make-up, clothes and the need to please everyone are gone? Who are you beyond the labels others and you have put on yourself? Underneath all of that you are YOU. Look for that connection. Without it, you can have a house within yourself, but it won’t feel like a home. And once you find it, notice how you are connected to everyone and everything else in the world. So much of our trouble comes from thinking of ourselves as separate individuals when in fact we are all in this together. The more we realise how interlinked our lives are, the better chances we have at creating a better world.

The road ahead

As you start to walk on the way, the way appears.

Rumi

You know the saying: wherever you go, there you are? If the one constant we have in life is being with ourselves all the time, it’s worth spending the time to learn to like our own company and to feel safe in it. There is no manual, there is no final destination – it is a journey. Much like building a physical home takes time, building one within ourselves does, too. Start and keep at it one step at a time, day after day. The moment will come when you will be able to feel your own power and your world will never be the same again.

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